April Fool's Day
Often it’s hard to describe exactly what the weather is like in the Black Rock Desert. It’s kind of like going to the drink dispenser at McDonalds, mixing together Coke, Sprite, Mountain Dew, and Root Beer, and then trying to explain exactly what the flavor is like. Sweet? Certainly. Different? Definitely. Tasty? Yes-No-Maybe-No-Yes.
It’s tempting to try to establish some sort of nomenclature for this strange desert’s weather. It’s also probably futile; I’m no Eskimo and this isn’t snow (or at least it isn’t at the moment). But I would describe today’s (April Fool’s Day) weather as Biblical Weather: a dust storm the size of Moldavia is blowing around on the horizon to the east, while angry black storm clouds rumble in from the west, emitting the occasional shard of bright light like some sort of alien spacecraft looking for a cow to mutilate. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Moses (well, ok, Charlton Heston: there is some hunting going on out here) came straggling into the ranch clutching two stone tablets. (And then asked for a beer. Everybody that comes straggling in from the desert out here asks for a beer.) It’s all very pretty in an ominous, frightening, let’s-all-stay-inside kind of way.
This time I did.
Last week we had Abyssal Weather: a blinding, frigidly cold storm comprised of 50% London fog and 50% dust (Somebody else’s dust, not ours. It tasted wrong.) blew over the Granites and settled comfortably down on the valley, reducing visibility to about 15 yards. Then, about an hour later, a freezing rainstorm blew in from the north, turning the whole thing into a falling mud storm. Hell gets better weather than that. It was a good day to stay inside - so of course I went outside, started moving stupid crap around with the forklift, got it stuck, hooked it up to the Chevy K-10, and then got that stuck too. Tina and I had to wear breathing masks and surplus military desert goggles while the sorted the whole mess out.
Hey, at least I bought the goggles!
This will be my last post for a month, as I’ll be back in California getting the house in Richmond ready for sale. Then, we’re moving out here once and for all. Out in our beautiful, hostile, terrible, welcoming wilderness.
It’s tempting to try to establish some sort of nomenclature for this strange desert’s weather. It’s also probably futile; I’m no Eskimo and this isn’t snow (or at least it isn’t at the moment). But I would describe today’s (April Fool’s Day) weather as Biblical Weather: a dust storm the size of Moldavia is blowing around on the horizon to the east, while angry black storm clouds rumble in from the west, emitting the occasional shard of bright light like some sort of alien spacecraft looking for a cow to mutilate. I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if Moses (well, ok, Charlton Heston: there is some hunting going on out here) came straggling into the ranch clutching two stone tablets. (And then asked for a beer. Everybody that comes straggling in from the desert out here asks for a beer.) It’s all very pretty in an ominous, frightening, let’s-all-stay-inside kind of way.
This time I did.
Last week we had Abyssal Weather: a blinding, frigidly cold storm comprised of 50% London fog and 50% dust (Somebody else’s dust, not ours. It tasted wrong.) blew over the Granites and settled comfortably down on the valley, reducing visibility to about 15 yards. Then, about an hour later, a freezing rainstorm blew in from the north, turning the whole thing into a falling mud storm. Hell gets better weather than that. It was a good day to stay inside - so of course I went outside, started moving stupid crap around with the forklift, got it stuck, hooked it up to the Chevy K-10, and then got that stuck too. Tina and I had to wear breathing masks and surplus military desert goggles while the sorted the whole mess out.
Hey, at least I bought the goggles!
This will be my last post for a month, as I’ll be back in California getting the house in Richmond ready for sale. Then, we’re moving out here once and for all. Out in our beautiful, hostile, terrible, welcoming wilderness.
posted by Jason Walters | 10:00 PM
1 Comments:
heh, I had been thinking about trying to make it out there....glad I couldn't.
in one month it will be to hot to work so don't worry!
chris karma
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